Thoughts from a Baby: I’m King of The Universe

When I was a new dad, I spent a lot of time wondering what a new baby thinks about. After many hours of pondering, here’s my best shot at what goes through a baby’s brain:

I was sitting and thinkin’, just thinkin’ away
Thinkin’ about Mom, and Dad, and play
When, BAM, it hit me, brighter than day
That all my commands are always obeyed.

Whenever I scream, or cry, or whatever
Big people jump. They’d never, no never
Ignore the cries of one who’s so clever
Who’s also, quite possibly, the cutest ever.

The thoughts kept a-turnin’, wheelin’ around
And what I discovered was really profound.
As it turns out, I’m VIP of the town.
“King of the Universe” I should be crowned!

This place that I live was created for me
And Mom and Dad, quite obviously
Are here to care for my every need
And faithfully obey my every decree

Now don’t go thinkin’ I’m heartless and cold
Just let me tell you, that I have been told
That before I arrived, their lives were quite dull.
Not really surprising: they’re boring and old.

They probably sat, just twiddling their thumbs
Waiting for me, King of the Universe, to come.
And now that I’m here, they finally have fun
Hangin’ with me. They love me a ton!

Though Mom and Dad are clearly the best
At following orders (they don’t even need rest!)
There are many others, I humbly confess,
Who come to visit and pay their respects.

They come bearing gifts, toys and some books.
Then they “ooh” and they “awe” at my stunning good looks
And I flash a quick smile; I’ve got them all hooked.
I’ve stolen their hearts, I’m a sly little crook.

After they visit, I’m tired and weary
(Because, after all, I’m only a baby)
So I call Mom and Dad and firmly decree
That I need a nap, A. S. A. P.

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